An age-old question… are you having kids at your wedding?

It may seem scary or even daunting deciding whether to choose to have children attend your wedding or not.  You don’t want to offend family and friends with young kids by not having them there, but you don’t want to risk a temper tantrum in the middle of your vows.

I’m a mum of two young girls who have both been in attendance of many weddings (my eldest is essentially a professional flower girl, having been one three times before her 4th birthday).  And I understand all too well the stress involved with kids attending a wedding.  Luckily all the stars aligned those days, and everything ran smoothly.  However, it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t.

Making the decision to have an adult only celebration may be down to several factors.  It may be a venue restriction if they only allow over 18’s or have a very restricted guest number, it may be due to budget, or it is just allowed to be personal choice.  Either way you are allowed to celebrate your big day however you wish!!!

top tips

If you have decided to have an adult only gathering.  Breaking this news to guests can feel a bit awkward but we have a few ideas to make this a little easier.

·        Top tip number 1: Make sure you give guests plenty of notice, the more notice you give the better chances are guests can make arrangements and attend your special day. This can be communicated as early on as your save the dates (if you choose to have these) or choosing to send out your invitations a little earlier.

·        Top tip number 2: Tradition states that only the guests stated on the invitation are officially invited to the wedding.  Make sure to clear and specifically name the intended guests on the envelope or box or on the invitation itself when you send out your invitations.

·        Top tip number 3: Be clear and consistent.  The rule has to apply to all guests. If you are making exceptions for newborns or having kids of immediate family members/bridal party, letting your guests know this from the get go helps avoid bad feelings on the big day!

How to word it

The perfect place to tell your loved ones about your decision to have an adult only event is on your invitation. Here’s how we recommend you word it to ensure everyone gets the message!

“We are only able to extend our invitation to children of the immediate wedding party. We apologize for any inconvenience, and we hope you can still join us on our special day.”

“In order to allow all guests, including parents, a day of relaxation we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult only occasion.  We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the day off!”

“Although we adore your little ones, this is an adult only occasion.”

“We are very sorry, but we are keeping our special day an adult only occasion.”

Generally, guests are understanding of this, but you always get one that will message or ask if they can be the exception because they can’t get a sitter.  Stand firm and stay true to your own feelings. Be understanding of your guest’s circumstance but if you really don’t want children at your wedding then you can choose to explain your decision if you want.  Some people may make the exception of new-born children, as it can be tricky for them to be away from their parents for such lengths of time.

don’t get upset

However, if you are choosing to host an adult only event, don’t get upset if parents can’t make it to your big day or they must leave early.  You are justified in your feelings of wanting a child free day and they are justified in not attending if it is not convenient or they do not want to or cannot leave their little cherubs.  As a mum I know it can be tricky to arrange sitters and I would never expect my family or friends to drop their plans to suit me. It can sometimes be tricky to find childcare, especially if it’s an overnight occasion.

On the other hand,

Children can make a wedding day and it’s so lovely to see them running around and making new friends.  It’s so special for them to get dressed up and feel part of something important. 

If children are welcome to the venue but you will be having a baby sitting service available during the day, also let this be known on the invitation too. This way parents can be prepared for this service on your big day!  It’s lovely to have some sort of children’s entertainment available.  Whether it is little tepee camps set up in a “kids corner”, or little goodie bags on their chairs to keep them entertained during the speeches, or garden games during your champagne reception.  This is a lovely idea but remember it is not obligatory!!

some cute, kid friendly ideas

If you wanted to create little goodie bags, here are our top recommendations:

·        Miniature colouring in books. These are easily found in the likes of Tesco or Home Bargains or you can get cute personalised ones from Etsy or even templates you can print yourself there too. Don’t forget to add a few crayons or pencils if you are choosing this option.

·        Some sort of fidget toys like fidget spinners, the little popper things that you get in cute wee shapes, telescopic tube toys and so on.  These can be purchased from Amazon in different sized bundles too.

·        Bubbles.  I mean these are fun for all guests.

·        Sticker books.  My two girls love the little tiny sticker books from Home Bargains that are like 60p for 5 sheets of stickers.  There are 1 million different themes to choose from for different ages too.

·        A disposable camera with a little wedding themed “eye spy” game can be fun for older kids.

·        You also get super cute wedding Barbies. Complete with Bride, Groom, bridesmaid, flower girl and the cake too.

·        Some sort of snack or sweet is guaranteed to keep them quiet.  Just make sure it’s not a messy one.

If you do opt for little kiddie bags, we have lots of different bag and box options available to personalise to match your wedding vibes. We can also guide you on what fillers would work best for your little guests too.

One thing to remember is that you can’t please everyone! There will be people who are going to be a little upset by your choices, but ultimately, it is you day and you deserve to celebrate the way you want to!

Kisses

Your Bridal Besties x